We sit crosslegged in the tub.
We’ve been three days sailing on the Sound
and are pleasantly exhausted.
I soap my face
and Joy begins shaving me.
It takes all the concentration
I can muster to keep from smiling
so she can shave around my lip.
Remembering the low swift boat
rolling over the waves
I watch Joy’s brown eyes as
they focus on the small swipes
that leave my face clean and smooth.
I keep my lips even,
but her smile rises and fades
with every pass of the blade. (more…)
Writings
Back Home By Willie Smith
Monday, September 3rd, 2012On Getting None By Willie Smith
Thursday, August 30th, 2012I wanna fuck a none,
wanna fuck a zero,
wanna eat summa that cipher pie.
I wanna get into the habit of nothing at all,
crawl down the neck of an empty,
set the clock back inside my daddy’s cock
to before he wet the face
of that bloody egg that became me and my arithmetic.
I wanna slip into the skirt of a holy ghost
and take a vacuum up the ass.
I wanna fuck a none,
wanna fuck a zero,
wanna eat summa that cipher pie. (more…)
Cock and bull
Thursday, August 23rd, 2012No more do we believe in phrenology, it has been deconstructed, constructed, reconstructed, redeconstructed, deredeconstructed to be scientifically unsound. It is a physiognomic fallacy. No longer do we look upon the prognathous chin and speculate about the mettle, the bravery; the same with a long nose, no longer are we caught in jealous conjecture about the size of the pudenda membra under the long nose. (more…)
Kant Out Walking
Wednesday, July 18th, 2012I can understand boredom being an ephemeral impression, a feeling that scratches the membrane that chafes the surface that flickers and distorts. I can understand Arthur Schopenhauer being bored when he has to blow out his candle at nine o’clock at night. I can understand the thinker finding boredom in the everyday world, in the big things as well as the small things. It can be very boring sat down at a desk staring at a computer screen. (more…)
Living Online
Wednesday, July 11th, 2012I live in the online world. I don’t go out much. I see things going on outside – trees blowing in the wind or something. Brick walls. I hear telephone rings and builders working away, playing their shit music and whistling. Online – the information is all there, ok maybe not all but most of it. Probably. Everyone has something to say online. There are professional voices, paid editors, or voluntary bloggers. There’s a review of everything. What’s the best cat? What’s the ideal bedside lamp? You can learn stuff that you wouldn’t admit to not knowing. How do you cook an egg? How do you touch your toes? It’s endlessly fascinating, endlessly entertaining, even if I no longer smile or feel the need to. I think the internet has evolved me. I only really go out for fags or Haribo. (more…)
An Interesting Guy
Thursday, June 14th, 2012“Yeah I think you’re going to really enjoy it. It’s going to be really good, it’s a kind of 1930s Paris type thing. There’s going to be a lot there. (more…)
Make Up Your Own Time
Friday, June 8th, 2012Government ministers are considering letting us decide what time it is, in a bold new proposal. Ministers are using night-lights to illuminate their surroundings as they write letters to counterparts in Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales, suggesting a trial. The proposal suggests that instead of putting clocks forward and backwards and backwards and forwards, as we currently do, we would become in charge of our own destiny and decide for ourselves what time it feels like it could possibly be.
If the proposal goes ahead, the change would mean that for one autumn the clocks would remain the same. After one sleep, we would all be able to look out of the window and decide what time we think it should be. Daily Mail columnist, Peter Hitchens, is a critic of the proposed change. (more…)
Salope Foutre: Sucer Mon Robinet
Wednesday, May 30th, 2012Human life is everywhere a state in which much is to be endured and little to be enjoyed.[1]
Most people would concur, but not Salope Foutre. Finding him changed my life, like listening to Miles, Monk, and Mingus. I could find no English translation of Salope Foutre’s only book and so I had to go to Paris. I found an old dogeared copy by the Seine River. It was very expensive, as you can imagine. Paris is so expensive. (more…)
Ryanair to Make Passengers Sit Inside Each Other
Saturday, May 26th, 2012Budget airline Ryanair are planning to fuck their passengers up the arse a little bit harder, with plans to make them sit inside each other on flights. (more…)
