We like our eBooks. In fact since Wife Christmas decided to generously purchase a Kindle for her blissfully ignorant husband, we’ve dabbled in the world of Kindle and fallen in love. (more…)
Articles
New Year on a Lonely Pier
Tuesday, January 17th, 2012So I spent New Year 2012 drinking champagne with a handful of friends on a lonely pier on the Thames. One of us, I don’t know who, figured it was preferable to being at some painfully cool warehouse party in Hackney Wick, full of red-eyed revelers snorting lines from mirrors and pushing feel-good gravel up their noses; temporary couples fucking in the stairwell, on the sofa and under the kitchen table (NY, 2010). This year’s arrangement was nice, tamer than ever, but nice. I’ve never seen the mayor’s fireworks display before—it reminded me of a Jim’ll Fix It episode, the one where the Bank of England let a kid burn £million in notes. (more…)
A Christmas Tale or How I Learned to Love Bono
Saturday, December 24th, 2011It was late and I was on the bus going home. The bus stopped and a family of shoeless, homeless, emaciated, wretched fools climbed on to the bus, but they didn’t have the fare and so the bus driver sent them back out into the snow – it was snowing. A lady next to me tapped me on the shoulder and softly, coquettishly said, “Well tonight, thank God it’s them instead of you!” (more…)
do not read this, sing it!
Tuesday, December 20th, 2011do not read this, sing it!
it’s useless unless unless unless it moves you. like beating drums, like beating screwdrivers, like beating your bishop, like beating the homeless. Nothing beats like beating the homeless. And if the homeless is a girl with a family problem it’s wonderful! (more…)
Honest Christmas Bonanza
Thursday, December 15th, 2011Welcome to the Honest Christmas books bonanza… (more…)
Occupy Art. Word¹.
Wednesday, December 14th, 2011I have been thinking the big things about government and civil disobedience and art and society and love and what it means to be a human being and why do we tell the stories we tell when there are so many other stories and why, when there are so many other stories, do I call myself mama, yo. (more…)
Substance
Monday, December 12th, 2011I often dream I am in jail. I can’t imagine why. Maybe if I did have enough imagination to imagine why, I wouldn’t dream about being in jail in the first place. But what I lack in imagination I always try to make up for in substance. (more…)
(An Advertisement)
Wednesday, December 7th, 2011I have a big cock. I had to get that out of the way first. On paper it is easy, but in the real world it is very hard. I have a twenty-seven-inch cock. An old girlfriend called it The Onion. I was very proud of the name. Many years later I found out she called it the Onion because of the smell. I always thought she named it The Onion because it brought a tear to her eye. (more…)
