Stephen D. said something about the briny spume and all the punters – Daisy, Moustache, Faulkner, Hunter, Davida, Johnson, and Bartholomew, got into a brand new Taureg just off the lot and drove to the beach. The beach was snot-green and Moustache had a cold and a cough. Moustache’s cough caused the mucous to spray the dying embers of a bonfire left behind by bohemiams hoping for a new world. They’d burned their underpinnings. This was not relevant to Faulkner, Hunter, Johnson, or Davida. Daisy wanted to be a dominatrix or a writer. Moustache was hurting from the sinuses. The stars, too. They were circling somehow behind the sun and clouds. They were waiting. Moustache knew this like he knew he had a clavicle. Like he knew his uncle’d jerked off to a young girl masturbating. It was all written down somewhere. Bartholomew was not writing it because Bartholomew was entranced by the orifices of tiger lilies. Not Daisy’s orifice, although, Daisy had several, which she would hide behind giggles, perfume, and someday a whip or a pen. Daisy was a smart girl and she wanted to go to university. University of life. Bad art. (more…)
Articles
Google Kindle: 5 Easy Steps to Make Money with Kindle eBooks
Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011I recently listened in to a Kindle eBook marketing webinar, sick bucket handy. I managed to hold back my puke for well over an hour. And then I let fly. I webuked. For I had learnt the truth about Kindle marketing. Here I’ll attempt to break down the truth for you, in easily digestible e-chunks. (more…)
In Line?
Saturday, November 19th, 2011Nodding. Dozing. Syncope. It happens. Reclining in front of the TV. Seated on a long bus ride. Standing in line. Some of my best ideas occur in such moments of spontaneous blackout. Here, for example, is a winking-blinking parable from my unemployment compensation daze… (more…)
Critical Ass
Friday, November 11th, 2011People ask me, “How do you write?” or “What do you write about?” or “What makes a good story?” or “When was the last time you masturbated before and/or after writing?” or similar literary-colonmoving queries. (more…)
phonehead
Wednesday, November 9th, 2011tip and tap and finger, swipe, feel, touch, swivel, cradle, stare – everybody HEAD DOWN avoid eyes, breasts, crotches, legs, toes, dirty heels, attach vision to battery-powered light, communicate, but not with us, with them, with there not here there your real friends, contacts, real dreams. this is temporary, definitely not permanent, a to c. (more…)
I Love Technology, Part II
Sunday, October 30th, 2011It’s just my luck. It’s got to happen. You know it and I know it. It’s happened twice. But you know and I know that some day it will happen for real. Whatever we invent we have to use, the bone, the stick, the axe, the sword, the machine gun, the raygun. (more…)
99 Cents
Tuesday, October 25th, 2011The digital revolution demolished gatekeepers, democratised writing, gave the little guy a foot-up. But with the smooth comes the rough, or something, and here’s one of the most damaging things to emerge from the whole, wonderful mess: the 99¢ eBook. (more…)
Fante an Honest Review
Saturday, October 22nd, 2011Like Hubert Selby Jr. before him, Dan Fante refuses to flinch. His writing is characterised by honest storytelling. He doesn’t try to sound like a writer or obstruct the flow of the story in any way. He has no apparent intention of his work being analysed, and seems to be unconcerned with literary worth, doesn’t fill space with unnecessary allusions or metaphors, he’s not the pretentious know-it-all smirking from behind a screen. Dan Fante’s work does not ape anybody, doesn’t try to evoke another era, doesn’t attempt to be surreal, contemporary, post-modern or book club material. While the Booker Prize scratches its PR chin and newspapers ponder the state of publishing, Dan Fante continues to write.
I had the pleasure of reading Fante: A Family’s Legacy of Writing, Drinking and Surviving, Dan Fante’s latest book, while on my train travels. It felt like I was holding a close friend and listening to him speak his secrets into my ear alone, reminded of when I was a boy and was carrying a Jack London novel around with me like priceless treasure to soothe me and give me the support and friendship I needed. I held my copy of Fante tight, proud to be reading it while others around me stared into their laptops, drank their coffees. (more…)
The Kindle Trial Challenge
Saturday, October 8th, 2011Kindle, love it or hate it, the world’s shouting about it. We prefer strong feelings here at Honest, standing on the edge of a cliff with the gust smashing against our backs. But enough of the cheap metaphors. We’ve got an offer for you, dear readers. Purchase one of our Kindle eBooks, read it, and if you don’t like it we’ll give you your money back (via Paypal). (more…)
Occupy Publishing
Tuesday, October 4th, 2011Inspired by Ryder Collins‘ tremendous article, and as a tangent to the ideas behind the Occupy Wall Street movement, I wanted to slam down my very own opinionated piece. It seems to me that business/writing/the business of writing is a continuous handshake, a wink and a slap on the bum.
(Sure I want to bring down federal banking just like the next man. I do believe that what is going on financially in the world is a massive swindle and most people are on the losing end. But what I also believe is that you and I also need to be held accountable. We’ve put our faith in these establishments, we’ve handed it all over, from our salaries to our mortgages. Not to mention the free-spending, the gluttony and lack of self-control which has meant we’ve lost our footing; in fact we’ve lost it, slipped up and fallen face down in our own putrid puke.) (more…)
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